Title of this post brought to you by Matchbox 20… such a great song, and so relatable right now.
I received bad news last Thursday that’s been bothering me all weekend. I’ve been trying hard to shake it, because tomorrow is always a new day, and perhaps things will end up working out, but I can’t get it off of my mind. I was informed by my boss that I can’t go home for Thanksgiving because we have black-out dates starting the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas Eve. I was also informed that I can’t go home for Christmas either because of seniority. Trying to let God take care of this and ease my troubles… but I can’t help being upset that I can’t spend the holidays with my family, since they’re the most important thing to me.
Maybe I’m being a baby about this. I’m sure a lot of you are accustomed to spending the holidays without family. But I am super close with my own, and to me the holidays are times to spend with the ones you truly love and care for. I’m sure if you’re not spending it with your parents and siblings, you at least have a fiance, or significant others; grandparents, aunts and uncles, a cousin or two to spend it with. I don’t have that security out here. To say I’m slightly worried would be an understatement.
I would love for my family to come here, but if I have to work then there isn’t a point for them to sit around Los Angeles without me, and I really don’t want them spending the holidays in a hotel. Flying home for two days and flying back doesn’t seem like the most rational plan either. I am getting my first taste of officially being alone in California. Texas is my home, and because I had no plans to return to The Great State until the holidays, I was really looking forward to November and December. I just hope that I don’t wake up on Christmas morning alone in my apartment, yet I don’t know who would be here if my family wasn’t in town. Who knows what I’ll be doing by that point anyway… maybe if I am alone I will go to a soup kitchen to volunteer. It could be a really great thing; a blessing in disguise.
I want to thank my family and friends for your constant support and also just ask that you pray for me, I’m feeling especially lonely out here in LA this month.
Kirbie Johnson 