"Make a f-cking friend…"

There is something you need to understand about tonight.  Regardless of the fact that I dressed as her for Halloween, regardless that I memorized all of her dance moves for the sole purpose of performing them in my seat at the concert, regardless of the fact that sometimes I fantasize about her inviting me over so we can have a drink and be bffs, Lady Gaga’s concert was amazing.  It would have been amazing to anyone, even those who can’t stand her music.

You can’t deny a creative person.  You can’t deny the unique, the versatile, the odd, the queer, the bizarre, the extraordinary.  Yes, she was and is all of these things and her concert exemplified just how crazy and genius she really is.

First of all, Semi Precious Weapons opened for her.  If you didn’t know, Kid Cudi was “released” (aka FIRED) from his duties as her opening act because he decided it would be wise to get into a violent altercation with a concert-goer.  Probably not the best move considering Miss Gaga models a lot of what she does after John Lennon, peace and unity.  I had never heard of SPW so I wasn’t too thrilled, however they weren’t what I was expecting at all.  The lead singer was strangely beautiful; he was a man, and he wore a lot of makeup.  He also was wearing hosiery with ribbons on them and nothing else… so his bare bottom was exposed.

They wasted no time cutting to the chase.  Cursing?  Check.  The f-bomb was pretty prevalent in his speech, but for some reason I wasn’t turned off by this.  He was actually pretty endearing, in a sassy and arrogant kind of way.  He would tell the crowd to shut up and then have us scream.  It was ridiculous but awesome and I totally love their music after seeing them perform live.  I mean the man had a mid-show costume change in the middle of the song in front of the entire audience.  That, my friends, is showmanship.

After they were off the stage it was the usual wait for Gaga.  She took the stage at about 9:30 and it was no different than any other concert I go to… I got the chills when the lights when down and the crowd started screaming.  Instantly music started playing, and the fans new what song it was: “Dance in the Dark.”

I can’t justify appropriately how awesome her stage show was.  The screens were insane.  The dancing was spectacular.  Her voice was on-point.  The costumes were AH-mazing.  And her interactions with the audience were true.  It was nuts.  Every person in that theater had some kind of connection just by loving her as an artist.  We were her “little monsters” and as she said, she created the monster ball to be a place where all of us could come and be happy and together — we “locked all the freaks outside.”  Hilarious considering most would say the freaks were all locked in.

Anyway, she has a great sense of humor.  Half the time Kristen and I were looking at each other and laughing because she did not fail to bring the weird.  She would lay on the floor and cry; stand up and scream, give lap dances to what appeared to be a dentist chair; she dressed like a crow, a dominatrix, a cripple, a robot, a disco-inspired John Lennon even.  She would yell things to us and we’d yell back.  But the most peculiar yet exhilarating part was not the high-tempo dancing, the brights lights or engaging visuals.  It was the fact that when she sat down at her piano, the crowd got dead silent.  You could hear a pin drop.  She would talk and we would all listen very intently.  Bizarre to witness when you just went from the most ear-piercing screams (my ears are still ringing) to people gently taking their seats to listen.  It was like sitting to listen to a good friend when she needed someone to lean on.

She is a great story teller.  With her music, with her movement, with her words.  The whole show was so symbolic I can’t even get into everything that “meant” something.  It cracks me up though that this woman, this ONE woman can basically run around doing whatever in the Sam Hill she wants and everyone obeys and tries to imitate her.  I mean, she could probably smear poop on her stomach and walk around with it and people would see her as expressing her creativity.

I didn’t expect her to be cursing as much, but hey, this wasn’t an *NSYNC concert.  She didn’t start off at Disney.  And she might as well have had the show on Santa Monica Boulevard because the LGBT community was out and in full force!  I mean I saw some men dressed up like Gaga who looked better than the women dressed up as her.  It was pretty awesome to see how one person could affect both males and females.

I thoroughly enjoyed her little sayings and monologues.  She’s bat-sh*t crazy and you have to respect someone like that.  For instance, during her song “Teeth,” she started yelling at the crowd, “I’m NOT A F-CKING DENTIST!”  Couldn’t stop laughing about that one.  During “Speechless,” while everyone was silent, she told us all: “Reach over and grab the hand of the person sitting next to you.  Even if you don’t know them.  Make a f-cking friend.”  After the first two songs, she says, “Hello Hollywood.  This is our second date.  You know what that means.”  She explained, but I’ll spare you the details.

Probably the best part of the night had to be when she told us she was going to give a lucky fan a gift.  She busted out her phone and called up a random fan in the audience.  And she answered.  And then Gaga told her her gift was that they were going to get a drink together after the show.  That is what fans really want, some way to get to be with their idol in a more personal light.  I mean the only thing she could have done to make me love her more would have been to call me up on stage to help her dance to “Bad Romance.”

She did almost every song off her debut and (almost) all the songs off of “The Fame Monster.”  It was almost a two hour show (just her)!  I was disappointed that a) she didn’t do an encore and b) she didn’t sing “Telephone”!  What the hell!  I guess it’s because Beyonce sings almost half of it but still, she could have done a video or something to recognize the song.

I had amazing seats and I have to give a shout out to my mom for instigating the idea and to my Uncle Rog for making it all possible.  You have given me many great experiences that I will remember forever.  Love you both.

And if you see me running around with a weird claw-ish hand, it’s because that’s the “Lady Gaga” symbol we all learned tonight at the concert.  Rawr!

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