I had another panic attack yesterday. I’m roughly a month from graduation and I have no prospects of a “real job.” I don’t even know where I’m going to live come June 1st. Fort Worth? Dallas? LA? I was talking to my Mom about everything last night and she affirmed what I’ve been feeling: I’m probably going to be moving to California soon, but it’s hard to pack up everything right now and go since I don’t have any money to live off out there.
I can’t see myself being genuinely happy here in Texas. I love it, but I want to try other things and I’ve always wanted to work in entertainment. I’m glad my mind keeps reminding me of that because sometimes it just seems easier to stay here, but I know I would constantly be wondering “what if” if I didn’t leave at some point. I’m kind of screwed no matter what I do – I don’t have prospects here in Texas or anywhere else.
It’s ironic because I feel I have expanded my network drastically the past two years and not even they can help me find a job in this economy! I got five e-mails this week saying “Sorry, there are no openings, but I ‘ll keep trying for ya!” I appreciate that, but bllllaaaah.
I pray about it every night. Not that I find a job, just that my heart’s desires will be fulfilled and that my worries can be lifted off my shoulders. I was telling a friend today that I can’t believe I’m on of those people who doesn’t have a plan. I used to frown upon people who hadn’t secured a job by at least March of their senior year and look at me now! I will never think that way about anyone ever again because I’ve learned that you never know the circumstance anyone else is in.
Enough about that. Britney Spears was Tuesday and AHHHH!!! It was awesome. It was so weird to see her in person after watching her life throughout the past few years. I’ve known her (through the media…) since I was 13, almost ten years!, so it was a great night for me to get to experience that. I’m one of those “Britney defenders”; I get upset when people mock her because who are they to talk? They don’t know her. She doesn’t deserve a lot of the scrutiny she’s under, and I’ve learned heavily within the past year and a half that you never know all sides of the story and that the biggest liars out there are the writers. Sorry but it’s true.
Here is a photo of the pop princess herself:
I’d add more but for some reason it’s taking forever and they never paste in the place I want them to.
Just finished editing this post, now I’m thinking of my next one. xo.
Kirbie Johnson 