To Forgive is Divine, Part II

My first post was about why we have to forgive ourselves, so let’s get to the big cheese: forgiving others.

You know, I think I speak for everyone when I say that most of the time we want to hang on to those things that hurt us in the past just so we can feel sorry for ourselves.  I know that some things legitimately will mess with our minds and our hearts for an extended period of time, however there comes a point where we have to consciously decide to move forward and not be “broken” or “hurt” anymore. So really, if throwing a pity party is not the reason, why hang on to the emotions of anger or resentment?  They aren’t fixing anything or helping.  They’re only causing turmoil.

When things happen and you get your feelings hurt, it’s wisest to forgive.  Honestly, whether the other person cares or not, forgive them.  It will help you tremendously.  This can go for circumstances too.  Let’s face it: certain situations out of our control can hurt us because it’s not going the way we’d like… like losing our job, or worse, losing a loved one or a friend.  It’s easy to want to place blame and to hold on to the hurt, but I encourage you to let go of the grief and move forward, using your faith and relationship with God to pull you through.

It’s when someone does something to make you feel inferior that’s the real test.  It’s easy to want to seek revenge; to want to make them hurt too.  Things we go through daily: perhaps a boss ridicules you, a coworker is catty, or maybe one of your closest friends has betrayed you.  Maybe it was even a family member.   It’s easy to wallow in these past events and worry about the future.  But God advises us against these things.  What benefit does that even serve?  Furthermore, you are to love others as you would love yourself.  I don’t think you’d wish hurt or pain on yourself, would you?

Think of things this way:  since we choose to believe people are inherently good, perhaps your boss is going through some tough things at home.  Maybe his wife wants to leave him.  What if he’s about to lose his Mom? We can try to separate work from our personal lives, but at times it’s hard to keep those emotions at home from coming to work.  And your coworker, what if they’re suffering internally because they never feel like they’re good enough?  They have never been praised or told how great they really are, so they are quick to point out your mistakes?  And lastly, your friends and family.  You have to believe that these people are probably struggling within themselves, trying to get through the guilt of hurting or disappointing you in the first place, because they love you.  There’s no need to hold a grudge or make them feel even worse then they surely already do.  Forgiving those you love and care for is the most gracious act of love you could give them.

We need to forgive others because we have things of our own that need to be forgiven.  The number one thing God wants us to do?  Love the Lord with all of our heart, all of our mind and all of our soul, and love others as we would love ourselves.  That is the most important of all.  And it’s going to take some mercy and some grace, but you’ll be a better person for it.  Love others, regardless of the circumstance, the place, the time.  Because God loves us that way and we as human beings seem to make plenty of mistakes and create a lot of hurt.  I think it would be hilarious to be in God’s shoes, watching all of his children down here on Earth.  We wouldn’t dare forgive at times (some things petty, some heartbreaking), but He forgave those who nailed His only son to a cross.

For those of you reading who do not have faith in God, I know you will want to blame God for things that don’t go your way.   It’s easy to blame him for the outcome, for the result, for the pain you’re currently going through.  But God wants the absolute best for you.  Perhaps you have an illness.  It could be a disease, it could be a disorder; anything.  I know those things are hard to comprehend, and it’s harder to understand why you were the one chosen to go through them.  Know that what is meant for your harm, God will use to your advantage, if you keep faith.   I know it’s so hard to see the big picture when you’re going through the dark tunnel, but your life is worth everything to God.  He’s placing you in a situation for a reason and everything you go through will have a positive outcome to it. You have to make a conscious effort to think positively.  

Be strong and confident in your faith and know that you are forgiven; use His grace and forgive others as well.

Bear no grudge.  Keep no record of grievances.  Love one another as you would love yourself!  You will be happier and better for it.  At the end of the day, know that people are inherently good (i.e. have some faith).  And know you are worth far more than any person here could assign you.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.  Colossians 3:12-14