Goin to the Chapel

Val is looking at engagement rings right now online. Then she asks, “How much is an appropriate price” for the ring and I tell her what I’ve always heard: three months salary for the male.

She IMMEDIATELY gets a huge grin on her face. Val is probably going to get a ring the size of my head. FML. Let’s be honest, I’m probably never getting a ring. I will be so devoted to my career that a legitimate commitment will be impossible and I’ll be forced to own six dogs, a few cats and then adopt a few babies to mother. (Note: I’m not saying Val isn’t devoted to her craft. She’s just found someone who is ready to take the plunge while working on it.)
Okay, she just asked me if rings have to be gold or if they can be platinum. Look, sometimes I wonder about Val and if when she told me she went to the UK for three years that what she really meant was outer space. Anyway I told her it could be any color and she just referred to them as “wedding wings.”
And furthermore, we just saw a infomercial about a Vibrating Touch Fingertip Massager by Trojan and it said “GREAT GIFT IDEA!” Um, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. There is so much going on right now that is so wrong but I won’t go on into further deets. Gross.
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