American Music Awards ’10: A TOTAL FIASCO

Did you happen to watch the AMAs last night?  If you didn’t, don’t stress… you didn’t miss a thing.  Nope. 

No, if you would have watched, you would have seen amateur hour at the comedy club.  At least that’s what it felt like. You felt bad about laughing because you weren’t laughing with the performers, you were laughing at them.  And when you weren’t doing that, you were horrified — watching performances that seemed pretty accurately like massive trainwrecks: starting off slow, gaining speed and then exploding.

With that said, here are my thoughts for the night.  Not like my opinions matter, but here they are anyway:

• Missed the opening.  Apparently it wasn’t a huge deal. 
• Did anybody soundcheck for this event?  Every Tom, Dick and Harry was off pitch. 
• Enrique Iglesias performed with Pitbull.  I usually hate any song that Pitbull’s a part of, but I actually like this song.  However, half the reason why it was such a huge hit decent song in the first place was because the Jersey Shore cast was in the video.  They definitely should have been fist pumping on stage with E & PB.  Maybe they refrained because it would have made a mockery of the awards show, but then again Ke$ha performed so I guess they weren’t too worried about that.
• Speaking of, yes, Ke$ha performed.  I walked out of the room at one point.  While I enjoy “Tik Tok,” her music as a whole is offensive to real musicians everywhere.  Not even musicians, but people that can sing.  It was apparent she realized how lucky she was to even be there, because the whole performance was a fiasco, perhaps sort of a montage to her career.
• People that can sing.  Hmm.  That’s an interesting statement.  There weren’t a lot of them last night, and that’s pathetic considering over a dozen people performed.  A DOZEN.  And we can’t afford/organize a decent sound check before televised awards shows? Blowing. My. Mind.
• What in the Sam Hill is Diddy-Dirty Money?  Sean Combs, please, give up music.  Your bands never do well, and when they do, they end up falling apart (ahem, Danity Kane).  You, yourself, haven’t had a decent single out since… well, I don’t even know.  The last song I can think of is “Good Morning.”
• I love me some Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas!  Not a fan of their new song, Dirty Bit.  It’s no “Boom Boom Pow” or “I’ve Got a Feeling.”
• Katy Perry’s performance was cute!  I like how she incorporated the boys’ choir, especially since the massive success of “Teenage Dream” on Glee.  She sounded good as well, but not as good as she has sounded in the past.
• Everyone lay off Justin Bieber.  The kid CAN sing.  And I know 28-year-old men that like him!  I know he sounded kinda shakey last night, but he was singing three octaves lower than usual… kid’s hit puberty and probably has no idea how to incorporate that into his singing voice.  Cue Peter Brady.  I like his song, “Pray.”  SO precious.
• However, is he artist of the year?  Debateable.
• NE-YO.  Come on man!  I expected so much more for from you.  “Monster” is a terrible track and needs to die hard.  Also, the song at the beginning of the medly is a straight-up rip off of the track “Addicted” by Truth Hurts.  Hope that was intentional or someone is going to be shilling out some dinero!
• I have to add that almost everyone had a really, REALLY heavy backing track if they were doing and upbeat song. 
• Best performances of the night:  Kid Rock, Train and Santana (minus Gavin Rossdale).  Kid Rock sounded better than anyone else that performed, and I’m starting to think he was lip synching.  It was THAT GOOD.  Train was great, but they’re always great live.  And Santana is a musical god, but Gavin Rossdale left something to be desired (he made up for it with his good looks).
• Pink is really a great artist, but her backing track was overpowering her natural talent!  I felt like I was watching Britney Spears (with better dancing).  I love Pink — she’s a great performer and she sings fantastic live… from what I could hear, she sounded great.  But again, the backing track = woof.  She’s pregnant so I’ll give her some slack. 🙂
•  Usher, gag. “I been doing this for 18 years y’all!”  Shut up already!  You act like you are God’s gift to music!  Make sure your mama makes some humble pie this Thanksgiving!  You need a heaping spoonful.
• Christina Aguilera sounded amazing, but honey, you’re a mother.  You’re not the 100 pound 17-year-old you used to be.  COVER UP.  Wear some pants.  Actually, wear clothes that are flattering to your figure.  I feel like we’re back in the “dirty” phase again where she was seemed to abandon any type of styling advice… and better judgement.
• BSB/New Kids on the Block reunion: Nick Carter? Is that you?  WOW.  I mean, it’s amazing what laying off the booze and drugs will do for a person.  He looked smashing.  As for the actual performances, I would have loved to hear Joey Mac belt something out, not just Jordan Knight.  Yet everyone sounded pretty crappy (the overbearing theme of the night).  This is more fuel to the *NSYNC reunion fire — Justin, just hop on board. 

And that’s about it!  Nothing spectacular.  I wish that these event producers would come up with something original… I mean, how awesome would it have been if nominees covered each other’s songs?  Carrie Underwood covering a Taylor Swift song?  Katy Perry covering Pink and Pink covering Carrie Underwood?  I mean, I would pay money to hear Pink belt out “Undo It.” 

Bottom line?  You don’t have to be insanely talented to make it in the world!  Then again if God wants you to succeed, it doesn’t matter how talented you are…